Why did the cat cross the road when being chased by a dog?
Because it was a scardy cat!
What did Mama Wind say to Baby Wind on his birthday?
Blow out your candles!
What did the quarter say to the penny?
You're not making any sense (cents)!
What did the cable guy say to the book with bad cable?
You need paper view!
What is a cats favorite color?
What subjects to cats like best in school?
Hissss-story and Mew-sic!
Guy goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I've got a problem! One day I feel like I'm a teepee, the next day I fee like I'm a wigwam. Teepee! Wigwam! Teepee! Wigwam!"
Doctor says, "Relax! You're two tents!" (too tense!)
What do you call a cow that cuts the grass?
What do you call a cat that eats lemons?
A Sour Puss!
What do ducks eat in their soup?
What do you call a mouse when it falls into a drink?
A soft drink!
Sarah (9 1/2)
What do you call a sick alligator?
If you are American in the living room what are you in the bathroom??
Kaiya (9 1/2)
What did the plunger say to the toilet?
Take a breath mint!
Why was the math book sad?
It had many problems!
If people get Chicken Pox what do chickens get?
People Pox Ha!
Why didn't the puppy play the computer??
Because it was "pawsed"!!
How do farmers count cows?
With a cowculator!
What do you call a three-legged donkey?
What do you get when you cross a moose with a deer?
There were three kids. Be Quiet, Manners and Trash. Trash fell down, Manners went to help him up, Be Quiet went for help.
Mame, my brother just fell down. So little boy what's your name? He answers, Be Quiet. No seriously, she says, what is your name? He again replies, Be Quiet. The lady says, if you don't tell me what your name is I'll......Where are you manners? Outside picking up trash!!!!!!
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
To find Pluto!
What do you call a hotdog that is cold?
A Chili Dog!
Student: "Teacher, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?" Teacher: "Of course not!"
Student: "Phew, so you're not mad that I didn't do my homework!"
Why did the bubble gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's foot.
Annie: Daddy Warbucks, what do you get when you cross a kangroo with an iguana?
Daddy Warbucks: I don't know Annie. Tell me.
Annie: Leapin' Lizards.
Which side of a leopard has the most spots.
Why did Mrs. Jones go home?
Because she forgot today was a school holiday!
Where do all the old Moose go?
To the Mooseum!
What are the ear's names?
Beer, deer hehe!
A plane crashes on the border of Canada and the USA. Where do they bury the survivors?
You don't bury survivors!
What is a cheerleaders favorite drink?
Why did the girl cry BINGO?
She had Bingo "B4" everyone else!
How did the cat cross the road?
By sleep walking!
What did the cow say to the sheep?
Mooooove out of the way!
How do you find a unique bird?
Unique up on it!