What kind of attitude did the snake have?
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Where did the pig go when he got sick?
What do you call a dog who can't do anything?
Why did the marathon runner say he felt like a motorcycle?
Because he was two tired!
What did Cinderella when her photos didn't arrive??
Some day my prints will come!
Why did Santa Claus come to town?
Because he was waiting for his presents!
Why did the girl eat her homework?
Because her teacher said it was a piece of cake!
There are two plates of spaghetti. One is regular and one is generic. What do you call the generic brand?
What did the mom melon say to the daughter melon when she wanted to run off with her boyfriend??
Why did the farmer go into town wearing only one boot?
Because he heard they were giving a 50% chance of snow!
Why did the banana go to the hopsital?
Because he wasn't peeling well!!
Why can't Cinderella play footbqall?
She runs away from the ball!
What did the dog say to the barber?
I'm feeling a bit wuff today.!!!!!!
What do you call a kid with no eyes?
What do you say if you meet a ghost?
How do you boo?
Why does the farmer's stool only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder one!
What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?
What do you call a sub mitten?
Where do you keep all of your jokes?
In your funny bone!
How do you make a hankie dance?
Put some boogie into it!
What bow can't be tied??
Why didn't the turkey want dessert?
He was stuffed!
What do you call a dirty fairy?
Kathy: Have you heard the pencil joke?
Kathy: Oh what's the point!
How does a scuba diver go to sleep?
He ZZZZScuba Dives!
Where do computers go at night?
What starts with a "p" ends with an "e" and has a million letters in it??
The Post Office!
What did the fly say when it hit the windshield?
I don't have the guts to do that again!
Why did the turtle cross the street?
To get to the shell station!
How do you make a sausage roll?
Push it down a hill!
What is so unusual about the Mississippi?
It has four I's but can't see!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?
No thanks, I'm stuffed!