A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says....
"Hey why the long face?"
Why do cats like computers?
Because they chase the mouse!
Why didn't the baby pirate watch the movie?
Because it was rated arrrrrrrh!
What do cows watch??
What is made of denim and lives in a lamp??
Why did the boy through the butter out the window?
Because he wanted to see the butter-fly !!
What did the dog say to the tree?
What do you call a female flea?
How many apples can you fit into an empty box?
1 because it will not be empty any more!
What did one orange say to the other orange?
Orange ya gonna get me a soda?!
Why did the ball roll down the road?
Because it had no legs!
What's an owls favorite subject?
What is the real meaning of algebra??
When all the zebras of the world get together it is called alzebra!
How did the burger propose?
With an onion ring!!
Why did the orange stop rolling?
Because it ran out of juice!
Why are turkey bottoms and teddy bear bottoms similar?
They both have stuffing!
What did the wave did say to the other??
Nothing. It just waved!
What is the diffrence between the Prince of Wales, a tennis ball and a pot of glue?
One is heir to the throne, One is thrown to the air and the pot of glue? Ah, that's where you get stuck!
What did one cent say to the other?
You have no cents!
What planet is married?
Saturn, it has a ring!!
Where do frogs hang their coats?
The croak room!!
What is brown and sticky?
What time is it when the Incredible Hulk sits on your car?
Time to get a new car!
Why is a banana skin like a piano?
Because if you dont Csharp you will Bflat
Where is the best place to go for Thanksgiving?
What animal says"I'm not fooooooooolin?"
What do you get when you cross a life guard and a hairdresser?
What do you use to get straight A's??
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snowbank!
What state has the smallest drink?
Mini soda! (Minnesota)
What do you get if you cross a road with a sheep and a kangaroo??
A wooly jumper!