Should Your Dad Be The Best Man?

father putting on a tuxedo

So you’ve popped the question. She said yes. Congratulations, that’s the hard bit done. So now it’s time to start planning the big day.

Choosing a best man is a very important decision that needs careful consideration. You need to pick someone who can rise to the occasion, such as delivering a good speech, but they also need to organise a great stag do and look after the rings.

For some grooms, their dad can be a perfect choice for a best man. After all, they are reliable, know your likes and dislikes and they may have a joke or two about you when you were growing up!

Let’s look at whether dads are good choices for this role, and what else you should consider when choosing a best man.

Who is supposed to be the best man?

Usually the groom chooses a close relative or a friend. Although it could be your dad or brother, most guys pick a close friend to be the best man. It is considered a great honour to be selected for such a role.

What are the duties of a best man?

It varies wedding to wedding but here are some of the core responsibilities the best man will usually have to do.

  1. Organise a bachelor party (stag do).
  2. Buy a gift for the groom
  3. Help the groom and groomsmen (ushers) choose outfits for the wedding.
  4. Look after the rings.
  5. Give the best man speech
  6. Welcome guests to the ceremony

Is a best man necessary?

You can have a wedding without a best man, although it’s very rare. If you decide you want to go ahead without one, just bear in mind that you still need someone to sign the marriage certificate as the groom’s witness. This can be a family member or a close friend.

Should you choose your dad as the best man?

It’s completely up to you. Many people will think it’s rather sweet and kind to have your father as the best man. If you have a strong bond with your dad then it’s a sensible choice. You may also want to choose your father if you have 2 close friends and you can’t decide who to pick for the role without offending the other person. Of course, you can have 2 best men, but some people don’t want this. Another advantage of choosing your dad as the best man is if he has a great sense of humour. Think of the embarrassing stories and photos from your childhood that he can whip out and share with everyone!

How to choose a best man?

Start off writing a list of who you think would be a great best man. Usually the first choice that pops into your head is the right choice. It could be your best friend from school or college, or a close relative. Here are some other tips to consider:

  1. Make sure you pick some who doesn’t procrastinate. There’s nothing more frustrating than having a best man who sends out the stag do invites 3 days before the event, or someone who doesn’t organise suits for the other ushers until the last minute. You and your fiancée will have enough to think about planning the big day.
  2. Pick someone who really knows what you like and dislike. If you want a small stag do with the lads, but he has his heart set on a wild stag do with strippers and god knows what else, then he may not be the sensible choice.
  3. Choose a best man who you can trust and rely on. It’s important you focus on all the important elements for the wedding; the venue, the food, entertainment etc. Don’t choose someone who is always late and forgetful.
  4. Choose someone who you think can deliver a good speech. It’s a big ordeal for someone to do this, striking a balance between laughter and meaningful comments. Your best man should be confident and have a good sense of humour. Get this wrong and the speech could go down like a lead balloon….like this.

As you read this list, choosing your dad may seem a good option. Most fathers are reliable, know what their sons like/dislike, and their sense of humour should be appropriate for all tastes.

Best man speech for dads – Example

During the speech, the best man obviously wants to thank the main people at the wedding, compliment the bride, but also throw in a few jokes. What best man speech doesn’t?

Here’s an excerpt from a dad’s best man speech from Hitched, which can give your dad some inspiration if he’s a little stuck.

“Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. On behalf of the Marc and Jennifer I would like to thank everybody for coming – particularly those of you who have travelled long distances. I’m sure you’ll all agree that this is turning out to be a brilliant wedding celebration. Yet every silver lining does have its cloud…..and that cloud is that you will be subjected to my voice for the next few minutes. I have tried to memorise this speech but please forgive me if I resort to my notes every 5 seconds.

First, I’d like to thank the Bridesmaids, Groomsmen and, not least the ushers, for performing their duties so well, and for looking so great throughout the day.

My name is Joe and I’m Marc’s father and to my eternal amazement his Best Man for the day!”

[Click the link below to read the rest of the speech]

Best man quotes for dads

As well as adding some humour and compliments, dads may wish to add some quotes throughout their speech. Although adding in one or two of them can add a bit of class, make sure you’ve actually heard of the person you’re quoting. It will be a bit weird to have some random quote from a Tibetan monk no one’s heard of!

Quotes can be meaningful, but they can also be funny. Here are 10 to consider:

  1. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.”  – Will Ferrell
  2. “To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with” – Mark Twain
  3. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life” – Rita Rudner
  4. “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” – Agatha Christie
  5. “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.” – Winston Churchill
  6. “Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.” – Franz Schubert
  7. “Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.” – Billy Connolly
  8. “You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!” – Bill Maher
  9. “Where there is love there is life.” – Mahatma Gandhi
  10. “If I get married, I want to be very married.” – Audrey Hepburn
should your dad be the best man at a wedding
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Is it ok to have 2 best men?

It’s fine to have two best men if you wish. In fact, it can be a sensible option if you have 2 close friends who are both good choices, or if you have 2 brothers. Just make sure your two choices work well together in fulfilling the necessary tasks.

Can your brother be a best man?

Any close relative can be a best man, and choosing your brother is a good option if you have a strong bond as siblings. Choosing your brother can be a good option when it comes to planning the stag do, as he will likely be a similar age to your other friends and groomsmen, with similar interests.

Should your son be a best man?

This is a nice touch and will surely go down well with all your guests. The only issue is if they are younger than 18 as it may limit your options for the stag do/bachelor party. Also, will they be able to confidently deliver a best man’s speech if they are very young?