Funny Horse Jokes For Kids

girl laughing at a horse jokeIf your kids are into horsing around, then you need some good equine jokes to share with them!

These horse jokes are not only harmless but also appropriate for young children and parents will laugh too.

While horses are not part of every day life for most people anymore, we can still remember them with good old-fashioned humor.

Find your new favorite joke to share with kids right here.

Easy to Remember Horse Jokes For Children

When is a horses favorite time of year?

horse season joke

What do they serve before dinner in the stable?

Horse d’oeuvres!
horse and stable joke for children

What do race horses eat?

Fast Food!
kids joke about race horses

What kind of horse can swim underwater?

A seahorse.
seahorse joke for children

Why did the horse cross the road?

Because the chicken needed a day off!
horse crossing road joke for kids

More Horse Themed Jokes For Kids

What happened to the person who dressed as a half human, half horse for Halloween?

They were the centaur of attention!

What has four legs walks backward?

A horse in reverse.

What did the pony scout do?

A good steed every day.

What do you call your best-friend horse?


What does a pony use to get warm at night?

A saddle blanket.

Why wouldn’t the little cowboy go to school?

Wild horses couldn’t drag him.

What do you call an insincere small horse?

A phony pony.

What did the mare say to the stallion?

You’re a handsome horse in-steed.

What happened when the horse swallowed 4 quarters?

It bucked.

What award did they give the horse who could drink the most water?

They game him a nice troughy.

Why did the horse miss the jousting event?

He had the knight off.

What do you call an equine carpenter?

A sawhorse.

Looking for more some jokes your teenage kids will appreciate? Check out our collection of jokes for teens to keep your older children entertained.

Why was the race horse nicknamed “Bad News?”

Everyone knows that bad news travels fast.

What’s as big as a horse, but weighs nothing?

A horse’s shadow.

Where do Knights park their horses?

In a LanceLot.

Which route do crazy horses take through the woods?

The psycho-path.

How did the horse riding instructor decide to get more customers?

He was going to stirrup some interest.

Who isn’t an upside down horse shoe good luck for?

The horse who lost it!

What do horses see before thunder?

Lightning Colts.

What do young horses wrap their food in?

Aluminum foal.

How do they vote in the horse senate?

With a Hay or Neigh!

Why didn’t the stallion show up for his wedding?

He got colt feet.

Which football team do horses always cheer for?

The Broncos.

Which kind of horse likes to eat baked beans?


Who is in charge of horse town?

The Mare. (ie: mayor)

Why did the pony have to gargle?

Because it was a little horse!

What did the horse say when it fell?

I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class?

Why the long face?

What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A neigh-bor!

What disease was the horse scared of getting?

Hay fever!

How long should a horse’s legs be?

Long enough to reach the ground.

Which side of the horse has the most hair?

The outside!

Why did the man stand behind the horse?

He was hoping to get a kick out of it.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey.”

The horse replies, “Buddy—you read my mind!”

Why did the horse cross the road?

Because somebody shouted hay!

What do you call a scary horse in the dark?

A nightmare!

Why do horses like to fart when they buck?

Because they can’t achieve full horse power without gas.

Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?

She always said Neigh

Where do horses go when they’re sick?

The horsepital.

What do you call a story about a runaway horse?

A tale of WHOA!

What street do horses live on?

Mane St.

When do vampires like horse racing?

When it’s neck and neck.

What did the momma say to the foal?

It’s pasture your bedtime.

What did the waiter say to the horse?

I can’t take your order. That’s not my stable.

What’s the quickest way to mail a little horse?

Use the Pony Express.

Where do horses get their hair done?


When does the person living next to you get annoying?

When he is NEIGH-BORED.

What do you call a boy named Ryder who likes to ride a horses back?

Horse Back Ryder!

What is a horses favorite state?


What do you call a well balanced horse?


What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A mechanic.

What do you call a baby donkey?

A burrito!

Where do horses shop?

Old Neigh-vy!

Why did the skinny dog start eating hay?

The doctor told him to gain weight, he needed to eat like a horse!

Why don’t racehorses wear underwear?

Because it rides up on them!

Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?

Because it had bad stable manners!

What kind of bread does a horse eat?


What is black and white and eats like a horse?

A zebra.

What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?

Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

What are a horse’s favorite sports?

Stable tennis and barn ball!

Why do cowboys ride horses?

Because they’re too heavy to carry!

What do you call a horse that’s been all around the world?

A globe-trotter.

Why wasn’t the horse very good at dancing?

Because he had two left feet.

What’s the difference between a horse and the weather?

One is reined up and the other rains down.

When does a cart come before a horse?

In the dictionary!

Which tree do cowboys love most?

The horse chestnut tree.

Why did the pony get sent to his room?

He wouldn’t stop horsing around.

Why did the scarecrow have to be the one to feed the horses?

He pick the short straw.

How many broncos does it take to carry a rodeo cowboy?

Just one; the rest passed the buck.

How do horses send letters to each other?

With a stampede.

What do you call a dancing horse?

A prancer.

Where do horses cook their meals?

On the range.

Why did the horse wear glasses?

He was a little farm-sighted.

Why did the pony yell?

He wanted to be herd.