Funny Pirate Jokes For Kids

young girl laughing while dressed as a pirateMaybe you are navigating life’s seas with a pirate-obsessed kid or you just want to have new jokes for your repertoire, or need some new dad jokes to may your kids groan.

Either way, we have the new material you need. Kids like adventures and humor which is why they find pirate jokes so entertaining and now you can entertain them too! Start adding jokes to your routine and prepare for giggles!

Easy to Remember Pirate Jokes For Children

Why did the pirate have a paper towel on his hat?

Because there was a Bounty on his head!
pirate paper towel joke

What is a pirate’s favorite color?

pirate favorite color joke for kids

What do pirates like to do at Thanksgiving?

Carrrrrve the turkey.
thanksgiving pirate joke for kids

Which is a pirate’s favorite type of fish?

A Swordfish!
pirate swordfish joke

What did the pirate wear on Halloween?

A pumpkin patch!
pirate pumpkin joke for halloween

More Pirate Themed Jokes For Kids

What’s the best name for a pirate dog?


Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years at “C”!

Why couldn’t the pirate crew play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck!

Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?

Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

What do you call a pirate that likes to skip school?

Captain Hooky!

What does the pirate say when his leg gets stuck in the freezer?

Shiver me Timbers!

What did the ocean say to the pirate?

Nothing, it just waved.

How do pirates prefer to communicate?

Aye to aye!

Why is pirating so addictive?

They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.

How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?

An arm and a leg.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise?

The plank!

When is the best time for a pirate to buy a ship?

When it is on the sail!

What kind of ships do pirates find hard to maintain?


Which subjects does a pirate enjoy the most in school?

He enjoys ‘Aaaaaaarrrrrtt’.

What are the only notes a pirate can sing in music class?

High C’s.

What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?

“Aye matey years old!”.

What does Santa say while visiting pirates?

He says, “Row row row”.

What is a pirate’s most favourite doll?


Why do people find it very hard to call a pirate?

Because he always leaves his phone off the hook.

Which instrument do pirates love in music class?

The guitaaarrrrrrr.

What is a pirate’s hairstyle called?

A crew cut!

What game do parrots in pirate ships love playing the most?

Hide and speak!

What happened when a pirate fell into the Red Sea?

The pirate got marooned!

Why did the pirate want to get to the other side of the road?

He wanted to go to the second-hand shop!

Why did the pirate like playing golf?

He was always under parrrrrrr.

Which two football teams played in the pirate superbowl?

The Seahawks and the Bucaneers.

What was the pirate’s favorite U.S state?


What’s a pirate’s favorite movie?

Booty and the Beast.

Which baseball team did Blue Beard play for?

The Pittsburg Pirates.

Which restaurant did the buccaneer go out to for dinner?

Long John Silver’s.

What did the pirate say during the winter storm?

Thar she snows!

What was the pirate’s second job?

an arrrrrrchitect.

Why should you never take a pea from a pirate?

He becomes irate.

Why did the pirate go on vacation?

To get some ARRRR and ARRRR.

How do pirates make their money?

By hook or by crook.

What are pirate children afraid of?

The darrrrrrrrrrk.

What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?

The hook shot.

Which famous pirate was always sad?

Captain Blue Beard.

How do pirates get down from a ship’s mast?

They can’t – you only get down from a goose.

How did the pirate stop computer hackers?

He installed a patch.

What’s a pirates favorite kind of fish?

A GOLDfish

What is a pirate’s favorite kind of cookie?

Ship’s Ahoy!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Garden who?
Garden the treasure

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Scally who?

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Turner who?
Turner round there’s a pirate behind you!

Why was man arrested for making a wax figurine of Captain Hook?

It is illegal to make a pirate copy.

Why did the pirate put a belt on a zucchini?

He wanted to be a squashbuckler.

What did the pirate buy from the Apple store?

An iPatch.

Why do pirates give away eye patches on Halloween?

Because iPads arrrrr too expensive!

What did the pirate’s parrot say when it fell in love with a duck?

Polly wants a ‘quacker.’

What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?

One has a rumbling tummy and the other a tumbling rummy.

Why didn’t the pirate get hungry on the desert island?

Because of the sand-which is there!

What does a pirate eat for breakfast?

Captain Crunch.

What’s a pirate’s least favorite veggie?


Why does the pirate carry his sword?

Because swords can’t walk

What do you call a foolish pirate?

The pillage fool.

Where do pirates go for a drink?

At the sandbar.

Why didn’t the pirate go to the movies?

Because it was rated Aaaargh.

Why do Pirates cry on their own?

Because they have private tears.

Who was the first pirate?

Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.

Why was the pirate digging at the beach?

To bury the hatchet!

What’s orange and sounds like a pirate’s parrot?

A carrot!

What happens when one pirate sees another pirate?


What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a song?

The hook!

What do you get when you cross a pirate’s parrot and a shark?

A bird that talks your ear off!

How did one pirate greet another pirate?


What did the pirate’s first mate send down the stream?

The Captain’s log.

Why can’t you take a picture of a pirate with a wooden leg?

Because a wooden leg doesn’t take pictures!

What do you say when a pirate steals during a storm?

Plunder and Lightning.

Where’s a pirate’s favorite breakfast joint?


What was the name of the most frugal pirate?

Barry D. Treasure!