Death has touched my life many times over the years. At the age of 39 it is certainly not unusual for me to have lost some of the people in my life I have loved.
As a young child I lost both of my grandfathers. As a teenager my best friend died from Cystic Fibrosis, and four other friends were killed in a car accident. I have lost many aunts and uncles, and later in life both grandmothers. Additionally my first husband was killed in a tragic scuba diving accident.
By far though, the hardest loss was the death of my father in 1994. I was 32 at the time. No, I was not a child, but I was always "daddy's little girl", even at that age.
The pain of losing my father stays with me today. The grief was profound and I still have questions that remain unanswered. However, as time goes on I have learned to live with my grief through the help of family, friends and grief counselling. I could not have done it alone.
Today I can think about my father and smile. Tears may still come but they are often from happy memories, not pain. I will always miss my father and wish he was still here with us but I have come to accept that this will not happen.
We all grieve differently. We all feel loss differently. There are no rules to it. While we all share similar emotions when we lose someone we love, we have our own individual private thoughts and memories that cannot be understood by others.
I truly believe in the saying "time heals all wounds". When you first lose someone the pain and hurt is very deep. It may stay that way for some time. It will however lessen as time goes by and you learn to live with your loss. I encourage you, if you can, to talk about your loss and to share the memories of the person you loved. By keeping their memory alive you will never completely lose them.
Wendy, Kids' Turn Central
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